Sometimes I cannot connect what I see with what I feel. I cannot make the connection between what I know to be true with what I feel in my heart and am able to express. I know a truth and yet struggle to find my pace and walk in it. I feel all out of step and unable to catch up with the rhythm and keep in time. Nothing fits. Everything feels off beat and everything seems to oppose my being able to hear the melody clearly and tune in to it.
The seasons always speak to me and serve as wonderful illustrations, often, as to the mystery of faith and the sorts of things we so often grapple with.
Here we are, spring is literally springing up all around us. Blossom graces our trees, previously bare through winter’s seeming sleep. Fresh shoots continue to appear and many are now bringing forth colour and shape, texture and contrast. There are signs of life appearing all around: it cannot be denied; it is there for all to see; it is obvious and real and true….
….And yet my heart does not yet sing with the reality I see before me. I feel, as yet, unable to fully embrace the life that I see, the life that I know, the life that I cannot deny. The connection is not yet there. There still remains a numbness; the ground of my heart and soul still thawing after winter’s frost.
My faith feels thin. And yet I know what I know.
And so I simply keep on believing. I can see life. There is no denying it. I can see the power of the resurrection all around me. It is happening. It is going on – an unstoppable force – nothing can prevent this life from its inevitable journey in to full bloom. Life’s mission cannot be thwarted. No turning back. It is winning, it is stronger, it is persistent, determined, focussed, set on its course.
I will not reprimand myself for not feeling the fullness of its presence yet. I will simply keep my eyes open to what is happening; my eyes open to the reality of what I see and what I know. And I will wait.
I will wait for the warmth of the sun to soften, thaw and prepare my heart to receive the fullness of this truth. I will let the Spirit of God do the unseen work in my heart, body, mind and soul…to prepare the ground…to make it ready…ready for the seeds of new life to take root…ready for those roots to dig down deep in to my being…ready for the seed to bring forth its own new shoots of life: fresh revelations of truth, of colour and of hope…
In the dead of winter – when all around on the surface of our earth things seemed lifeless, barren and empty – under the earth, unseen, there was activity, there was progress, there were breakthroughs and investments for the coming season. Deadened flowers returned their energy to their bulbs and roots, storing it up ready to push on again with a new lease of life. Death bringing forth something new, something stronger.
The disciples saw Jesus dead on the cross. That was it. The end. He had gone. And all around was empty and hopeless and they were grieving and baffled and at a loss. What now? What was left for them? What was their purpose without His presence with them?
And then…..
Resurrection. Jesus came alive again! He defeated death! Jesus overpowered the dark and weighty forces of death and came forth in victory, bringing new life and hope of the eternal, hope for a future.
His resurrection substantiated our faith. His life and His death and His coming back to life again gave substance and depth and meaning and power to our present and gave us something tangible, something we could not only bear witness to but something that we were invited to participate in.
I can see this new life now. I am a witness to it. And I believe it. I believe it with all my heart.
And I want to participate in it. I want to feel, now, what I can see. I want to sense, once again, His abundance, His life, His resurrection power, His hope and joy in me.
I wait. I cling. I persist. I trust. I don’t stop believing. No denying it. It’s happening. All around us life is winning. Death does not have the last word.
I will follow in the Way. I will hold fast to the Truth. I will believe and I will wait for His Life.
~
Winter’s crown
Of thorn and thistle
All is dying
All is dead
Cold winds blow
On skins that bristle
Coarse and harsh
And full of dread
Fear threatens
And dark days linger
Will we hear of Him again?
Hushed we are
With lips to finger
Tentative e’en
To speak
His Name.
How short our memories
Of Story’s ending
Dead of winter
but a pause – – –
Lighter days
His death is rending
“Clutch of Death,
Let go your claws!”
Life is fighting
Life is stronger
Life is winning
On and on
Lasting days
And Light for longer
Light forever
Will return.
Deadened sin
Is buried, tomb-bound,
But His Name
Again will rise
Winter’s debris
Falling to ground
New Life reaching
Soaring skies.
So do not fear
dried thorn and thistle
Do not dread the
Deadened crown
Do not break
In harsh wind’s whistle
Banish worry
Renounce your frown
Life is fighting
Life is stronger
Life is winning
On and on.
Lasting days
And Light for longer
Light forever
Will return.
Florry Rich ©2017
[for more of my poems click here]
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