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Meta
Tag Archives: pain
Stream of consciousness: lingering questions, temporary distractions, cracked conversations, fear & firsts. It’s okay not to be okay…
I get it. Perhaps more now than ever. That need or temptation to numb the pain; of considering things that would help you escape what you are feeling, of allowing the pain to be felt and travelled through. I find … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged bereavement, death, faith, fear, grief, loss, mental health, motherhood, mothers, pain
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Even after…
Mum’s death still hurts so much. It has now been eleven weeks since she died, suddenly and unexpectedly. We were not prepared. I have been busying myself with a to-do list at her house. There’s a long enough to-do list … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged anti-depressants, bereavement, death, family, grief, hope, loss, mental health, pain, therapy
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Is God enough?
“As these things are being stripped back and the gaping wound being seen for what it really is – and the loss felt rather more acutely than I was able to process as a child – I am faced with the question: Is God enough for me? Is He enough for my pain? Is He enough for this life?” Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged bereavement, childhood bereavement, childhood grief, Childhood loss, Christianity, counselling, death, depression, faith, fear, fulfilment, grace, grief, hope, hopelessness, Jesus, life, longing, loss, pain, psychotherapy, suffering, talk therapy, therapy, trust
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With Love – On World Mental Health Day 2018
I have experienced episodes of depression. Although they have, at times, felt random – as if they’ve come out of nowhere – I have learned that there is always a trigger for me, as well as a source. For me, my … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged anti-depressants, bereavement, brokenness, Christians and mental health, counselling, darkness, death, depression, despair, faith, grief, healing, hope, intimacy, intimacy with God, loss, Medication, melancholy, mental health, open heart, openness, pain, prayer, sadness, seasons of sadness, sharing, therapy, transparency, Trauma, Vulnerability, wholeness, World mental health day, World Mental Health Day 2018, worldmentalhealthday, worldmentalhealthday2018
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Open Your Heart / Invitation Only / Fearing To Thrive
“But what else can play in to our failure to thrive? What about fearing to thrive?
What if life’s blows have actually caused us to retreat back in to that closed bud? – that even when the opportunity and breathing space in between life’s trying times and circumstances arises, all attempts at opening up are thwarted by our own fears?
Fear is a killer. Fear can paralyse us, can’t it? Fear is like an industrial strength weed-killer, that kills everything it touches: it doesn’t discriminate between beauty or bramble, flower or thorn. It will go for everything and in our own lives it will eventually lead to shut-down.” Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged blossoming, breakthrough, Christianity, deliverance, endurance, faith, faithfulness, flourishing, God, God's faithfulness, God's invitation, God's love, God's Word, grace, grief, growth, hardship, hurt, Jesus, open heart, open your heart, openness, pain, patience, progress, struggle, Vulnerability
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Something New / Open Your Heart
“I’m letting Jesus in to that place. I am voicing it. I am inviting Him. He is going there because I have asked Him to, I have allowed Him to. We are going there together.
And He is doing something new.” Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged Christianity, faith, fear, God's work, healing, hiding, hope, Jesus, life, liminality, new life, open your heart, openness, pain, relationship with Jesus, renewal, restoration, Resurrection, something new, speech, stillness, stillness of His presence, transformation
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Seeing & Feeling / Head to Heart
“Here we are, spring is literally springing up all around us. Blossom graces our trees, previously bare through winter’s seeming sleep. Fresh shoots continue to appear and many are now bringing forth colour and shape, texture and contrast. There are signs of life appearing all around: it cannot be denied; it is there for all to see; it is obvious and real and true….
….And yet my heart does not yet sing with the reality I see before me. I feel, as yet, unable to fully embrace the life that I see, the life that I know, the life that I cannot deny. The connection is not yet there. There still remains a numbness; the ground of my heart and soul still thawing after winter’s frost.
My faith feels thin. And yet I know what I know.” Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged abundance, belief, Christianity, death, depression, faith, future, grief, hope, life, life after death, new life, numb, pain, religion, Resurrection, seasons, spring, struggle, substantial faith, thin faith
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Still More…
So, I had another go at recording one of my poems on Adobe Voice. This one is not a particularly comfortable read, not exactly ‘easy listening’… I wrote it 8 years ago now, so at a different point in my … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged faith, freedom, identity, letting go, offering, pain, relationship, sacrifice, sin, spirituality, undoing, Vulnerability, yielding, yielding to God
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Depression (Part 5) – Light for each step…
It’s been a little while since I’ve written about how my journey is unfolding. I think that is, in part, due to those days that I have felt so sapped of energy that there has been little left to put … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged abiding, antidepressants, Cageless Birds, comforter, counselling, counsellor, darkness, depression, enabler, faith, friendship, God's presence, grief, health, Holy Spirit, hope, hypothyroid, Invitation, Jonathan David Helser, journey, levothyroxine, light, love, Melissa Helser, mental health, Molly Skaggs, pain, patience, recovery, resting, SSRI, support, thyroxine, trust, trusting God, under active thyroid
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Depression (Part 4) – Love wants to absorb pain…
Love wants to absorb pain. On Friday morning my son fell and hit his head against some shelves. I was in the next door room and I could tell from his cry that he was really hurting. I ran to … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged Abba, abiding, anti-depressants, blue, community, confused, counselling, demotivated, depressed, depression, faith, fatigue, fear, feeling down, God, God's presence, healing, heartache, heaven, hope, hopelessness, illness, Jesus, joy, longing, low, mental health, mood, motherhood, pain, parenting, past wounds, personality, psychotherapy, sad, sharing, spirituality, stressed, suffering, the cross, tiredness, trusting God, Vulnerability, weakness, weariness, wholeness
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Depression (Part 2) – So what now?
The next day, on Thursday, I sent an email out to friends. I owed them an update on our son’s progress anyway and I thought I would let them know that I was in a bit of a ‘dip’ myself. … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged anti-depressants, community, depression, faith, God, healing, health, heaven, home, hope, hopelessness, life, longing, love, marriage, mental health, pain, parenting, past wounds, personality, sharing, spirituality, stress, Vulnerability, weakness
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24 November 2014 – Follow-up letter to medical staff overseeing Toby’s care…
Good morning, Further to my last email I thought it was important to let you know that what I described as ‘sadness’ & ‘physical slumps’, in my list of things I’d noticed Toby doing are, I think, in fact related … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged activity, attention, baby, children's health, emotion, empathy, feel, focus, moro reflex, movement, pain, parenting, physical slumps, premature baby, prematurity, sensory perception, sensory processing, smell, sounds, taste, teething, touch, worry
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21 November 2014 – Letter to medical staff overseeing Toby’s care…
Dear all, There are a few little sensory behaviours of Toby’s that I have noticed recently, which then challenged me to think about any such sensory processing behaviours that I have noticed – whether a while ago or more recently. … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged activity, attention, baby, children's health, DDD, Deciphering Developmental Disorders, emotion, empathy, feel, focus, gross motor delay, growth problems, happy demeanour, micro-array CGH, moro reflex, movement, pain, parenting, physical slumps, poor weight gain, premature baby, prematurity, prominent forehead, puffy eyes, sadness, sensory perception, sensory processing, separation anxiety, smell, sound, taste, touch
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