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Tag Archives: motherhood
Whisperings of You…
Found this little self-portrait that our boy drew in Bubbles, his old children’s group at church – aged about 3 ☺️ It’s almost his 8th birthday but it was eight years ago today that I had a bit of a shock … Continue reading
I Come to the Garden Alone – a remembrance of my beautiful mother… Shuna Jean Jeffries, 21st July 1945 – 19th June 2020
And He became her Beloved. And she knew she was His…..And so I know, when I read the beautiful words to this song, that these are exactly the words that her heart sang each morning and especially on those mornings when she would let her bare feet feel the morning dew on the grass. Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged beauty in nature, beloved, bereavement, Christianity, communion with God, deniece williams, faith, garden, grace, heaven, hope, i come to the garden alone, intimacy, knowing Jesus, loss, morning dew, motherhood, prayer, quiet time, remembrance, role model, shuna jeffries, widowhood
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Stream of consciousness: lingering questions, temporary distractions, cracked conversations, fear & firsts. It’s okay not to be okay…
I get it. Perhaps more now than ever. That need or temptation to numb the pain; of considering things that would help you escape what you are feeling, of allowing the pain to be felt and travelled through. I find … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged bereavement, death, faith, fear, grief, loss, mental health, motherhood, mothers, pain
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Baby Loss Awareness Week 2018
This week, from Tuesday 9th until Monday 15th October, is Baby Loss Awareness Week. What a tender – and for some very painful – subject; and often we are so awkward in broaching conversations around these things. We often don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged baby loss, baby loss awareness, baby loss awareness week, BLAW2018, grief, infant loss, loss, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, motherhood, stillbirth
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I gave birth to a premature, 32 week old baby entirely alone in the hospital’s ANTEnatal ward…
1 November 2015 – Letter of complaint to the hospital where Toby was born… ~ Dear sir/madam, How it has taken me quite this long to finally sit down and write to you is quite incredible and yet not a … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged antenatal, baby, birth, child birth, childbirth, children, children's health, complaint, delivery, family life, gave birth alone, hospital, labour, letter of complaint, motherhood, negligence, newborn, NHS, parenting, pregnancy, premature baby, premature birth, Women's health
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Depression (Part 4) – Love wants to absorb pain…
Love wants to absorb pain. On Friday morning my son fell and hit his head against some shelves. I was in the next door room and I could tell from his cry that he was really hurting. I ran to … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged Abba, abiding, anti-depressants, blue, community, confused, counselling, demotivated, depressed, depression, faith, fatigue, fear, feeling down, God, God's presence, healing, heartache, heaven, hope, hopelessness, illness, Jesus, joy, longing, low, mental health, mood, motherhood, pain, parenting, past wounds, personality, psychotherapy, sad, sharing, spirituality, stressed, suffering, the cross, tiredness, trusting God, Vulnerability, weakness, weariness, wholeness
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Depression (Part 3) – Am I depressed or aren’t I?! Do I need help or don’t I?!
This is a minefield! I went to bed last night feeling all at sea. I have been doing so much thinking & sorting of threads & thoughts (or attempts at sorting) and I suppose the thing I feel as though … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged blue, confused, demotivated, depressed, depression, faith, fatigue, feeling down, low, mental health, mood, motherhood, parenting, stressed, tiredness
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Depression (Part 1) – Isn’t it that simple?
On Wednesday evening, Eddie asked me how I was. I didn’t know how to answer the question at first. I always feel so silly and self-conscious when I start talking about feeling ‘down’. When I get in to proper ol’ … Continue reading
Posted in Ramblings
Tagged anti-depressants, children's health, depression, despair, down, faith, family life, fatigue, happiness, health, hopelessness, longing, love, low mood, marriage, mental health, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, slump, the blues, tiredness, unhappiness, uselessness, wellbeing
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Fact 30/30 – I delivered Toby on my own…
January 15th 2014 Fact 30/30 I delivered Toby on my own… 2013 was, I think, the most difficult of my life. Very early on in the year, just three days after my birthday in fact, an early pregnancy scan revealed … Continue reading
Posted in #30til30
Tagged 2 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians 12:19, aloneness, answered prayer, baby, bereavement, bilateral inguinal hernia, blessing, child birth, children's health, compassion, contractions, death, delivery, Emmanuel, faith, God's faithfulness, God's goodness, God's presence, God's provision, GORD, grace, grief, healing, holes in the heart, Immanuel, impossibility, losing a baby, losing a child, miracles, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, motherhood, neonatal unit, parenting, possibility, prayer, pregnancy, premature baby, premature birth, premature labour, prematurity, unborn baby
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Fact 28/30 – When I was 27 I became a mummy…
January 13th 2014 Fact 28/30 When I was 27 I became a mummy… On Thursday 11 August at 12.24pm, our darling daughter, Isobel Daisy Ellen, was born, weighing 7lbs 11oz. Her name: Isobel means “God’s promise; God is my oath” … Continue reading
Posted in #30til30
Tagged 1 Samuel, 1 Samuel 1 & 2, blessing of children, children, Daisy, faith, family life, first child, God, God's faithfulness, God's goodness, God's provision, gratitude, Hannah, heritage, home-birth, longing, meaning of names, motherhood, names, naming, NCT, parenting, patience, pregnancy, redundancy, thankfulness, waiting
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28 January 2014 – I feel so tired & alone…
I feel so tired and alone. I don’t feel reassured by being here. I see a different nurse and doctor each shift, explain the same things each time and no-one has instilled any particular confidence in me or demonstrated their … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged aloneness, baby, children's health, cow's milk allergy, cow's milk protein hypersensitivity, desperate, Disphagia, exposed, feeding, feeding aversion, feeding concerns, feeding diary, GORD, helpless, hospital, motherhood, NG tube, parenting, reflux, SALT, Speech and Language Therapy, suck, swallow, tube feeding
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27 January 2014 – Heading to A&E with Toby…
The milk protein hypersensitivity is most likely a correct diagnosis, as Toby is not reacting to the milk after feeds (praise God!) However, the problem remains with feeding itself. He still will only take 10-20ml on his own, before he … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged children's health, cow's milk protein hypersensitivity, feeding, feeding aversion, feeding concerns, GORD, motherhood, negative feeding assocations, neurotic mother, NG tube, paediatric gastroenterologist, parenting, prayer request, reflux, refusal to feed, survival feeding, syringe feeding, trust, trusting God, tube feeding
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3 November 2013 – Another hernia!
This morning, much to our dismay, we found another hernia on the other side of Toby’s groin, his left side. We can’t quite believe it! We go to the cardiologist on Tuesday for Toby’s heart review so we think we … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged AVSD, bilateral inguinal hernia, cardiologist, children's health, congenital heart disease, encouragement, faith, friendship, healing, heart problem, hernia, inguinal hernia, motherhood, operation, parenting, prayer, prayer request, premature baby, premature birth, prematurity, umbilical hernia
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1 November 2013 – Update…
The intubator has now been removed and Toby is breathing mostly on his own, but he now has the support from a CPAP machine (continuous positive airway pressure). His respiratory rate is higher than the normal range at the moment. … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged anaesthetic, baby, blood acidity, blood gas levels, breathing difficulties, chest x-ray, children's health, continuous positive airway pressure, CPAP, Emmanuel, God is with us, hernia, hospital, ICU, Immanuel, inguinal hernia, Intensive Care Unit, intubated, IV fluids, lobe of lung collapsed, motherhood, neonatal unit, NNU, parenting, premature baby, premature birth, prematurity, reaction to anaesthetic, respiratory failure, ventilator
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Toby’s hernia op today…
This morning I met the anaesthetist, who was happy to go ahead and anaesthetise Toby for his hernia operation. He had no feeds from 8am in preparation and at 3.45pm I kissed Toby goodbye at the door to theatre. I … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged AVSD, baby, children's health, congenital heart disease, family life, Father's arms, feeding, feeding difficulties, heart problem, hernia, hospital, ICU, inguinal hernia, Intensive Care Unit, intubated, IV fluids, lobe in lung collapsed, motherhood, neonatal unit, NNU, operation, parenting, perseverence, premature baby, premature birth, prematurity, reaction to anaesthetic, tongue tie division, tongue-tie, trouble breathing, ventilator
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9 October 2013… They told me 5 weeks – please keep praying & hoping!
Hi again friends, I’m sorry if my emails are coming too often – please let me know if you would rather not receive them, as I really won’t be offended. Just to ask praying friends to keep on praying and … Continue reading
Posted in Toby
Tagged 5 weeks in NNU, baby, bereft, children's health, faith, God's faithfulness, God's plan, God's timing, hope, longing, motherhood, neonatal unit, NNU, parenting, prayer, premature birth, prematurity, siblings, tiredness, toddler, trust, trusting God, united in hope, weariness
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florencejoy 